Wednesday, 15 June 2011
Beginnings: You can't hug a porcupine part 1
You can’t hug a porcupine
Adam looked around. Checking to see if anyone was watching. He check again just in case and then remembered that there were no other people around. He looked lovingly at George the porcupine. George who liked and respected Adam as much and the next animal was suspicious. He had heard the rumours. Floppy the bunny had apparently been eating some lettuce when he was grabbed by Adam and squeezed. The poor little rodent had, had to go to therapy after the random hugging had taken place.
Roger the lion was luckier, he had seen Adam coming and had ran for his life.
George backed away ever so slightly from the man. He was cornered. What would he do! Adam reached down. George closed his eyes and tried to think of a happy place. Adam got down on his knees and extended his two large arms around the porcupine.
“OWWWWWWW!!!!!” screamed Adam as 30 porcupine spines shot out of George’s body into his. “For the love of Pete, what did you do that for?”
George was a little baffled, Pete was a donkey and he didn’t love him, that would just be wrong.
“I’m sorry Adam but it just happens when someone invades my personal space.”
Adam went off apologetically and didn’t come out of his house (actually it was more like a tree) for days.
“That’s it!” exclaimed George, something has to be done. He called a meeting of all the animals and they talked for hours about the threat that Adam was beginning to pose. Floppy tried to talk about his torment but just burst into tears. The animals chittered and chatter but no one came up with any good ideas.
“How about we call the Creator and ask him to have a little talk with Adam?” asked one of the Pandas, fearing that her kind would be the next target.
“You don’t have to tell me,” came a voice from above, “I saw it all for myself.”
“Well can you do something about this weirdo please?” Came a cry from among the now twenty million rabbits.
The Creator explained to the animals that Adam wasn’t weirdo but that he was just a little lonely and wanted someone to hold him. That’s all that people really want a lot of the time, someone to hold them and tell them that its going to be alright.
“I will deal with it,” the Creator assured them.
Suddenly the animals’ disgust turned into sympathy. “Y, y , you know I have brothers, sisters, cousins, uncles, aunts, grandparents, a wife and children” said Floppy, “but poor Adam doesn’t have anyone. Perhaps we judged him too soon.”
And so the Creator went to find Adam.
Adam was sitting against his tree which he called his sofa for some reason he couldn’t explain. He had plasters and bandages all over his arms and chest. The scares would remain to remind him that he was all alone. Well knew that he wasn’t really, the Creator was a great friend who could do some pretty awesome things, and if he ever had a problem with bullies . . .
He liked the animals to but they just didn’t get him sometimes. They could never understand that simple quantum physics and as for there attempts to answer life greatest question . What he needed was someone like him. Another Adam! That’s was the answer!
Adam jumped up, “I will run to find the Creator and ask him for a clone of sorts!”
He didn’t get very far for two reason:
1. The creator was already there and anywhere Adam he could possible think about going to.
2. He suddenly felt really, really tired. He couldn’t understand why, he had gotten 8 hours sleep, just like the manual (How to make the most of your body by JC) the Creator had given him said. He hadn’t done much exercise.
It was all too tiring, so Adam decided that he would have a power nap for a bit. He crawled under his tree and fell fast asleep.
(keep looking back for part 2 . . .)
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